Many successful leaders, when asked, could rattle off a list of the most influential people in their lives—a list that would likely include well-known entrepreneurs and executives, as well as inspirational coaches and teachers. For a large number of leaders, however, the person who had the biggest influence on their success is not a mentor or colleague, but their mother. Take another look at the motherly wisdom that likely guided you through childhood and still rings true today, years after you’ve left home.
1. Be kind.
It’s one of the most fundamental lessons mom taught: treat other people the way you want to be treated, and learn to get along. A primary means of engaging others, persuading them, and motivating them to succeed is simply showing them compassion and kindness. Be understanding—the people you lead will make mistakes, but it’s not necessary to berate them for it. At its heart, kindness is essential for successful leadership.
2. Use your manners.
A corollary to “be kind,” mom’s advice to be on your best behavior still has merit. There is much to be said about a leader who remembers the social protocols of politeness, as “please” and “thank you” go a long way toward building respect. As a leader, your job is to set the tone for your organization’s culture. Establishing norms based on civility and respect helps to create a positive, pleasant work environment for all.
3. You can play after you’ve finished your homework.
Shattering afternoon plans of bike riding and street ball, moms often use this phrase to teach their kids the importance of finishing the tasks they’re responsible for. This lesson is equally important for leaders, who must be able to prioritize tasks and projects effectively, and to complete the work that needs to be done in order to be prepared. Understanding how to manage your time is imperative to successful leadership and can make the difference between mediocrity and greatness.
4. You can be anything you want.
Your mother may have been your first cheerleader—the one adult who was consistently supportive and encouraging of even your most ridiculous ideas. Imagine the conversation of a young boy who declared his desire to visit the moon, decades before it was possible. In part fueled by the encouragement of his mother, astronaut Neil Armstrong boarded a rocket, flew into space, and did something no human had ever done in 1969—he walked on the moon. As a leader, you may be tempted to give up on what seems to be an impossible task, but remember—every success was once a crazy idea.
5. Don’t argue.
Many argumentative teens receive this command from their mom, along with the plea to be quiet. In the workplace, there are certainly times when it’s necessary and important to argue your case. However, as a leader, it’s also important to fight the tendency to finish a discussion or to always have the last word. The most effective leaders may have strong viewpoints, but they also listen just as much as they talk, and they know the value of letting others voice their opinions.
6. Say you’re sorry.
The final mandate after an episode of sibling rivalry or a playground dispute, your mother’s command to “say you’re sorry” was probably annoying when you were a child. For a leader, however, expressions of empathy and contriteness—particularly after you realize you’re wrong—are essential. Apologizing for your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions can be some of the most important components of leadership.
7. Choose your friends carefully.
Your mom may have criticized your friends with comments like, “Those friends are no good” and “I don’t like those people you’re hanging around with.” However, the advice to surround yourself with positive people was based on more than the hope that you’d stay out of trouble. Your mom probably recognized an important truth about life: your relationships influence the kind of person you are. Surround yourself at work and in your personal life with people who are smart, passionate, hard-working, and who bring out the best in you.
8. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
Generally whispered in your ear during moments of panic, the reassurance that everything was going to be ok could wipe away a nightmare, give you courage to ride a bike, or provide motivation to try something new. As a leader, these familiar words of support can help when panic sets in, or when you face a seemingly insurmountable challenge.
There are hundreds of inspirational leaders, but the most influential may be the person you call “mom.” Despite your years spent in school, at work, and in leadership training seminars and conferences, one of the best ways to fast-track your path to success is to simply listen to your mom. Her advice can have a profound impact on your professional life and can help you become a successful leader. It turns out, mom really did know best.